Slowly Stripping Away Life
I have always wondered why it’s been so long since I found someone to share my life with. It’s just little over a year since my 4 year relationship with my ex, and for some odd reason I used to think that was eons of time to be alone.
The depression didn’t help.
I used to fall into the dark hole every night, comforting myself with the emptiness of a cold demeanor, because that used to feel better then the hole that was in my heart. I was alone, yes, and afraid that I could never escape that hole without someone rescuing me.
I imagined superman, and I still do, but now I know I don’t need him like I used to think.
The thought process was that I wasn’t strong, and my heart had grown too weak to help itself. I was broken, and I have sad poems to prove how heart broken I really was, but once I escaped the pit of darkness I began to realize something.
I CAN be strong enough to save myself, which is exactly what I did, and if I had found the love of my life at those depressing moments it would have turned into a sour relationship. You see, in a relationship you are supposed to help each other grow, but if he would have found me then, all of his time and efforts would have been to fix me. He might of left out of impatience or for the sake of his own happiness. It would have been toxic. I would have been stripping away his life forcing him to give me his energy. A horrible fate this would have been for the both of us.
So now, as I look back, I know I would have depended on someone else my entire life to get me out of the bad times. I never would have been self-sufficient, and wouldn’t be able to handle life.
So here is my lesson to you. If you’re down a dark road, I don’t want you to think you need superman to save you. You are your own shining power that can conquer anything. Just look for the light deep within and you’ll harness your strength. And if you feel lonely, then feel lonely, but know that if you start a relationship during that time it might end up toxic and make you worse down the long run.
Fix yourself. I know you can because You are strong, You are brave, and You are everything you need to save your own day.
Always,
A. Willow
Story of the Day 