I am positively, absolutely,…NOT in love with you
What was I expecting?
“Willow, I’m madly positively in love with you.”
….
God, sometimes I just want to rip my head apart and sew it back together the way I want to . I hate being a female, constantly wondering what he is thinking, wondering if for some reason he changed his mind.But he hasn’t, and it would take an idiot to see it written on my face.
That’s right it’s that obvious that I am in love with him and yet, he’s the only one who doesn’t see it.
Sometimes I hate him, and other times myself. How could he be that blind? Why would I allow myself to fall back into this mental torment.
I’m playing with my heartstrings, and I need to let him go.But I can’t, because he’s the one person I want to talk to about everything with, the one person I wish was beside me laughing, the one person I know I can be myself around.
All it had to take was a letter, telling me that he was thinking about me, that I mattered to him in some way. And yet he couldn’t pull it off. Apparently he isn’t as close as a friend as I had thought, apparently I don’t matter to him at all in his busy life.
I’m not the one who is losing in this game, he is. Because sundown tomorrow I will move on, knowing that I tried to love and hold nothing back, and when that sun sets for him he will see that he blinded himself with his mind, ignoring his heart and allowing strict rules and norms control his life.
I know I love him, and I accept it. It’s a pity that he cannot see me, for I am that one person who would be there for him no matter what.
I’m done, I’m done, I’m done.
I’m moving on for the night, and not looking back until another wing takes flight. I know my heart will soar back to him, but for tonight, it’s all right.
Your dear friend,
A. Willow
Story of the Day 