Depression is Coming
I must admit, after taking this job, I haven’t been able to see God as clearly. My life is too busy, I’m struggling to pay rent, and life in this cold senseless winter is beginning to freeze the inside of me.
Months go by, and the way I see the world changes. I try to view the smiles more often, hear my friends laugh, but you get sucked into such a dark foggy place that’s its hard to see through it.
This is the warning that I am slipping again. Back into that dreadful place I once found comforting. I’ve begun, again, to let life take me into its hands and slowly fold over me, making me blind to what I know is important.
Why is it that with the different things we do in life, it can affect us so immensely?
“I’m being sucked dry. I’m being sucked dry.” I heart is screaming into my head, but I cannot hear it half the time. I’ve become tired, more stressed, and filled with this lingering hope that tomorrow will get better.
It’s time. Time for me to take a break, exit the chaotic world that we all live in, and enter a new place with serenity. My five day vacation is coming up, and i know I need to make it worth while. So while I’m visiting my family I won’t allow myself to think about the bills, I won’t allow myself to think of the money I won’t be getting, and I won’t think about the aggravating people back at work.
No, for the first time in a few months I’ll be focusing on me and my happiness. I know this will work, as long as I cooperate.
“You’ll go back to normal.” I tell myself with a smile.
What is my normal?
The smiling girl we all know is hiding beneath the sheet of darkness, a laughing friend that pulls you into a hug of joy, a soul that cares about every human being she meets.
That’s who I am, even if I’m a little rough on the outside right now.
I can’t wait for vacation, and hope that all of you can get a chance to relax and find your own happiness. In this world, we need time away from jobs in order to stay sane. We were meant to be a part of nature, not locked up inside all day.
I love you all,
A. Willow
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