The Perfect Man is only Superman

Something is drawing me to him and I don’t like it. I feel a sense of who he is….but that could just be the remnants of my perfect guy. I look at his picture, and feel funny, like something was meant to happen, but didn’t. Then, as if by law, he contacted me and that was the end of it all. I try to ignore fate at my hands, and try to ignore those strong feelings.

But a person’s a person, and if it’s meant to be, you’ll find him along the edge of eternity.

I don’t know how to describe it, maybe he’s feeling it too. This perfect image in my head, can’t be right. It’s a made up superman, someone that doesn’t exist. I’ve known that I’ve been picky, I’ve known that life isn’t perfect, but why God, why would you make me feel something for somebody I want to resist.

He scares me, not because he’s creepy. But because I feel like he can pull at my feelings, and end up hitting a wrong button.

He said he felt off too, and now I’m scared, he said he had a gut feeling, but i’m just trying to be prepared.

I want to ignore him, because he must treat me with respect.

It would take a miracle, but happen if it must.

 

Should the beginnings of love scare us? A chance that two souls can meet and be together for an eternity. Love is scary, love is blind, and I won’t let my heart out at the wrong time.

I’m in control, I can handle this one man. I won’t let him in unless I know he’s my superman.

And trust me my dear friends, that I can!

Love you all,

A. Willow

Taking Chances

When life supplies us with answers, how do we know where to look? God has given me a chance, an opportunity to see life different than it really is. Do I take it? Or do I sit here and wish for a different way?

Life is full of many possibilities, but the question is do you jump?

I’m not scared to face the unknown. I’m not scared to feel uncomfortable. I will jump, because I know I’ll be alright. God is protecting me, as long as I am asking him for His protection.

So dive right into the scared place you wish you didn’t have to go. Life is full of the unknown, and you can never actually know unless you take a chance.

A. Willow

The “Single’s” Strength

I can’t help but to think that I may very well be single forever. Now, if that is God’s plan for me, that is alright, but…it just seems odd to think that one day I might actually find “the one”.

To all the single people out there, this is for you. We strive to do our best on our own. We may have a few friends, but never that best friend that we want to share every last minute with.

This only makes us stronger.

You realize you can’t rely on anyone but yourself, and so you must fix your own problems, even though it may seem impossible. I’ve learned so much over the last few years, by just being by myself. We don’t have anyone else telling us what to do, or how to behave, we get to be ourselves. So for once in our lonely lives, be proud that we have made it on our own. Not everyone can say they went to a diner alone, or that they went into a movie theater by themselves and didn’t feel awkward at all. Because we know we have friends, we know that the special person we are waiting for isn’t around, and so we feel independent when we are on our own.

Strive to be the strong individual I know all of you are. And if you are dating someone, try to do more for you.

Love you all,

A. Willow

Follow Your Heart

Try not to focus on the past, or what could be. Instead, spend your time doing what you love. Improve yourself, help improve the world around you. God placed us here on this earth for a reason, and it has more to do with what you love than what others may think you should do.

Follow your heart, and never give up on your dreams. If you put your mind, body, and soul to work at what you want to do, you will achieve anything you set out to do.

Love,

A. Willow

Hiding Under Your Nose

When there is a day to follow your dream…do you do it? When there is a higher power calling your name, do you listen?

All my life I’ve struggled with right and wrong, wondering what God wants us to do, versus mankind.

Who do I let define me, who do I let rule my world?

All of these questions are heard, but it’s a simple answer that hides right under our noses. 

The answer is, follow your heart. Let your heart decide if something is right or wrong. Let your heart scream at you when you hear other people’s negative songs. You know you want to be a better person, and fill the world with happiness, but first, my friends, you must decide your own path.

Today I took my day and switched it around. I felt bliss before I headed off to my duty, and I knew that I couldn’t stop. So instead of doing what civilization expects of me, I wrote out my heart, and by doing so I am one step closer to understanding this world that God wanted us to live.

Follow your heart,

A. Willow

Why “Sinful” People Keep Sinning

I don’t want to disrespect anyone’s faiths, or the way some people may view God, the creator, or the divine…but today I came across something that sent a long set of problems running through my head.

Here you will see what I found at my workplace. On the front is a million dollar bill sign, and not surprisingly, when you flip it over, it’s a fake. You can read for yourself what it says, and below I will comment on my following thoughts.

 

Dear Sinners,

I’m sorry that people hate you, and I’m sorry that people push you into the minority and tell you your worthless unless you believe in God. I’m sorry people tell you you’ll go to hell, and that that information should scare  you into believing God. I’m sorry for a lot of things, and maybe I can’t have people stop pointing the fingers at you and saying that your the reason why it sucks down here on earth….but I can tell you this.

To me, you are no sinner. Sinning is a way for the church to make you feel bad and scared on yourself. I’m not looking at a group, I’m not looking at people who rape or steal, who I’m looking at is you…the individual. I want to tell you in different words, what these other people were trying to say.

God loves you, even though you’ve been through a rough time. Jesus loves you, and he’ll forgive you for any mistakes you’ve made. There is no right way to do things in this world, because we are human, and all of us make mistakes. Including the people that made the fake million dollar above.

I wish I could take your pain away, but I cannot do that. I wish I could make you believe that there is someone out there watching over you, but that is not in my capability either. But I can give you information to think about, and try maybe once or twice when times get hard.

Look deep within yourself, feel the pull of that person that you know you want to be. Can you sense it? The soul that has been waiting for you to notice it? I kind of see it like a conscience sometimes. You know you want to be good, because naturally, our souls are all pure and good.

So once you sense that soul I know every person in this world has, I want you to become STRONG. I need you to do something that is very hard, and possibly, one of the hardest things you will ever do. I want you to stop thinking, stop feeling, and open your heart. For once in your stressful life, try to open that wound that has hurt you for years, feel the love that God has given you there.

I know your hurting in some shape or form, but also know that God LOVES you and no matter what happens, no matter what you do, He will keep on loving you. He won’t send you to hell, but he will keep testing you. It’s your choice to become a better person. Nobody, not even God can make you change, but listen to that soul and know that you aren’t screwed to an eternity of Hell anyways. You will meet God after this life, and you will feel whole and happy no matter what, but the question is can you try to stop what you are doing and try to feel the serenity that surrounds your soul? You can be happy, and your life can get out of the gutter. All you need to do is talk to God, learn to love him through your own experience, not someone else’s. Try to see a white light surround you, because God can keep you safe.

God has helped me overcome my own pain. Having depression isn’t easy, and without finding God during it, I probably would have killed myself. So please, take that moment, because I know that if you really try, from the bottom of your heart, you’ll find someone watching over you.

I love you all, and hope I don’t offend. I’m just trying to help the people who are lost understand that they shouldn’t be scared, but they should want to change on their own if they are going to.

A. Willow

Scatter-Brained

My mind is buzzing with new ideas. It jumps around from spot to spot, never settling until I’m caught. My mind zooms as I walk past the door, but hardly notice the stuff on my floor. I seem to ignore the reality i’m in, when I’m so focused on the stuff within. I question and I ponder about my fantasy world, until the day I awaken, my mess unfurled.

So when I finally do snap back to reality, I finally see me. A simple girl, with big ideas, a complete mess, when it comes to a reality check.

Just a little fun with making fun of myself,

A. Willow

“I AM LOVED!”

The Darkness-

I remember it well. A place where the soul is weakened and all your body can do is cry and cry. Slowly, without realizing it, you fall into this dark and dank hole where nobody seems to love you, and happiness seems lost…

 

I’m proud to say that darkness has been pushed away for a long time now, but it still lingers at the back of my mind, never allowing me to forget the terrible place.

I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to go back into Gods arms and feel the bliss I knew was beyond this world.

BUT I DIDN’T!

Instead I fought the darkness. Each time it told me “I can’t” I repeated back “I can”. Each time the darkness brushed my shoulder wanting to know if it was alright for empty company I stepped back, and asked God to open his arms and shed His white light upon me. The darkness swarmed my heart, making it burn and bubble with pain and shadows, but I didn’t let it consume me.

I stood my ground, and even though I may not have felt loved, I stood my ground and tried to remember “I am loved”. Because God loves all his creatures, God loves all our souls, and no matter what I do, God will love me, and he will love you.

So I told the darkness “I am loved!” and I felt a white light wash over me, so then I shouted “I AM LOVED” and with the center of my core I pushed the darkness away. Everyday of my life it has been a struggle, everyday of my life I’ve learned to gain the positive energy I need and to avoid the negative. Every day of my life I fight to be ME, because honestly, nobody is filled with that darkness. We are all filled with inner light that can outshine any struggle…it just takes the courage and the heart to harness that power.

I love you, and hope that my struggles can show you there is always a way.

A. willow

 

 

Beautiful Darkness: Why Beauty Destroys

What is it about beauty? It seems to me that beauty is a curse as well as a blessing. If you are beautiful you can either be one of two things: Shallow, a jerk, and only interested in ME ME ME ME ME. or there is the possibility that someone is beautiful, but they are too shy or naive to realize how pretty they actually are.

The other day I was talking with this guy over email, and he seemed like he had it all. He was a gentleman, optimistic, VERY attractive, and he seemed down to earth. Now ladies, when I say attractive I mean fall down on your knees as he walks by because you don’t know where your strength went, and Men, this is the type of guy you want to look like….

So of course I ring him up, and what was I expecting, a gentleman? Well, he turned out to be this big ….JERK for better terms and he thought he could say whatever he wanted to me because girls just melt in his arms. He was rude, harassed me about my body more than once, immature, and didn’t have one ounce of respect for me.

Did I keep him? Of course I didn’t. I let him go.

Now, I needed God in my life the next day. The things he had said to me were running through my head like a bulldozer taking down the precious structure I had built called “confidence”. Words shouldn’t matter, but he had been like a viper and now the venom was slowly sinking into my head.

I asked God to keep me strong, to keep my mind away from him….but God did something quite different. Instead of making me forget, he made me remember everything he said. He showed me the words and the disrespect, but God gave me strength to fight it. He lifted my soul from a weak scared girl into a fierce warrior.

It didn’t take long before I looked back at the guy and felt sorry for him. Because out of all that he had said, I’m not mad now. I’m more concerned for him. He was looking for a relationship, not a hookup, and the way he talked to me was no decent way to get a girl. If he keeps talking like he always has, he’ll never find anyone worth fighting for. He’ll keep getting the same girls he has always gotten, just for sex, and he will never grow and move on.

So in the end, after hours of rebuilding myself. I’ve grown stronger, and actually, more myself than I was the day before. I wish him the best and hope he can overcome his ignorance of respect, because I know that someday I will find that love that I am looking for, and if he doesn’t change I don’t know if he ever will.

The lesson today, forgive but don’t forget. Use what has ailed you to make you a stronger and brighter person. 🙂

I love you all and wish you the best,

A. Willow

Soaring High

I need to pick myself up. Too many times have I been disappointed. Where life leads me astray, making me believe that a lover is at my feet.

But I fall, like every other human being.

It’s good to believe that, one day, my soul mate will come running to me, but for now, I need to stay strong.

I can’t let a man, discourage me, or make me feel bad about myself.
I am a beautiful young woman, intelligent, creative, powerful, passionate, loving, and cherished. I will never waste my time with someone who disrespected me and who will only make me feel worse as the day goes on.

I deserve more than to be pushed around.

I, like you, deserve to grow. We aren’t meant to stick in one spot and to be pushed down. We are supposed to thrive, and fly above the negative people we meet in our lives. Fly so high, that only the sun and God are able to watch you.

Smiling so big that I feel like a kid at heart.

I love you all, and want to let you know, that you deserve the best and never settle for anything less.

A. Willow