Beautiful Darkness: Why Beauty Destroys
What is it about beauty? It seems to me that beauty is a curse as well as a blessing. If you are beautiful you can either be one of two things: Shallow, a jerk, and only interested in ME ME ME ME ME. or there is the possibility that someone is beautiful, but they are too shy or naive to realize how pretty they actually are.
The other day I was talking with this guy over email, and he seemed like he had it all. He was a gentleman, optimistic, VERY attractive, and he seemed down to earth. Now ladies, when I say attractive I mean fall down on your knees as he walks by because you don’t know where your strength went, and Men, this is the type of guy you want to look like….
So of course I ring him up, and what was I expecting, a gentleman? Well, he turned out to be this big ….JERK for better terms and he thought he could say whatever he wanted to me because girls just melt in his arms. He was rude, harassed me about my body more than once, immature, and didn’t have one ounce of respect for me.
Did I keep him? Of course I didn’t. I let him go.
Now, I needed God in my life the next day. The things he had said to me were running through my head like a bulldozer taking down the precious structure I had built called “confidence”. Words shouldn’t matter, but he had been like a viper and now the venom was slowly sinking into my head.
I asked God to keep me strong, to keep my mind away from him….but God did something quite different. Instead of making me forget, he made me remember everything he said. He showed me the words and the disrespect, but God gave me strength to fight it. He lifted my soul from a weak scared girl into a fierce warrior.
It didn’t take long before I looked back at the guy and felt sorry for him. Because out of all that he had said, I’m not mad now. I’m more concerned for him. He was looking for a relationship, not a hookup, and the way he talked to me was no decent way to get a girl. If he keeps talking like he always has, he’ll never find anyone worth fighting for. He’ll keep getting the same girls he has always gotten, just for sex, and he will never grow and move on.
So in the end, after hours of rebuilding myself. I’ve grown stronger, and actually, more myself than I was the day before. I wish him the best and hope he can overcome his ignorance of respect, because I know that someday I will find that love that I am looking for, and if he doesn’t change I don’t know if he ever will.
The lesson today, forgive but don’t forget. Use what has ailed you to make you a stronger and brighter person. 🙂
I love you all and wish you the best,
A. Willow
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