Tortured Smiles

There’s one thing in this world that I can’t understand…

After pouring your heart out,

showing love to all the world,

and smile everyday,

past the hard times

and dark times that seem to overwhelm you…

why is it that you can never find love?

I’ve tried to get over one man- it hasn’t worked.

I’ve tried accepting my love and show him- I only get hurt.

And when he finally is here, and I want to be with him,

just as a friend-

he avoids me.

I don’t deserve this torment.

I’m crying inside, one second, and maybe the next,

but I put on a smile and stop myself from crying.

I’m hurting and yet happy,

Accepting.

I need to tell him everything,

and he won’t listen,

he won’t give me the chance.

Maybe he knows,

maybe he’s doing it on purpose.

All I know is that I must be patient

and hide the pain until after we meet.

Once I let my heart and soul pour out,

I know I’m either one step closer to finding love,

or more than likely, one step closer to moving on.

But here in this vacant stage where I’m waiting,

Waiting to tell him.

Waiting for him to see me.

It’s killing me inside…

And yet, I still smile.

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