A Message to Trust

We are all victims to the unknown. We’ve all dealt with pain, all dealt with sorrow, anger and even death. The truth is, we are creatures of questions. We want to know everything before it happens, but how could we ever learn if God made it that way. We are blessed with hints here and there, feelings that arise to tell us if something is right or wrong. We fall to our own disasters. We can keep choosing to fall down the road of pain and hurt, or we can take the hints God gave us and use them to find a happier fate. We must have faith that someday, our sad experiences and open but healing hearts will see something magnificent. We aren’t living this life just to play it out and have it end. There is a purpose, a meaning to each and every soul on this earth. It just takes the heart to find, the courage to unwind our fate, and jump into faith.

You can do it, because I and God believe in you. You just have to believe in yourself.

Love,

A. Willow

Our own Choice

This segment of blogs is coming to an end. I’ve made it clear that choices aren’t meant to be taken lightly and that we choose to be who we are every single day. But today I want to share with you why. Why is our choices we make right now, more important than any other choices we are going to make or have made.

The reason is it’s in the Now. There is no other existence but right now, this moment, where you see, can hear, and breathe in the air. You can choose to shut your eyes…right now, you can choose to listen to those nearest you, you can choose to walk away.

So what is so important about this, and our choices? The fact that we are given freedom to think and choose is a blessing. We don’t always get our way, and most of the time life isn’t fair, but we can choose to still be happy, to fight and figure out what we really want in life.

God didn’t send us here to tell us that fate overrides all else and we don’t have a choice in the matter. We weren’t made for destruction of that kind. Instead we have a voice, to spread the love that we choose to feel in our hearts every day. So get up out of  that dreary bed, open the curtains, let the sunshine in and say “Today is going to be a glorious day!” And I guarantee you, that if you choose Cto do this, it will be.

Because no matter what happens, no matter what obstacle life puts on our track, Today is going to mean something wonderful because you chose for it to be so, you chose to be happy no matter what.

And that is the Choice-. The greatest blessing to have love and find happiness no matter what life throws at you. I love you all and wish you the very best from the bottom of my heart.

A. Willow

More to Me….

More

Much, much more.

To think, that maybe one day I’ll be more.

To think that today is the start of it.

One thought

One wish

Doing is never out of the option

Doing is the only way.

Stop fighting yourself

Stop the negative mind.

You see what you want,

You seek God.

Open your eyes to the stars above

Open your eyes to the love of God.

No more shouting out in the dark,

No more crying eyes that do part.

You are the person you want to be.

You believe in you…

And that’s all it takes.

The Story of a Second Chance

It’s about a second chance,

To fix the wrongs you’ve made.

You aren’t given an opportunity

To just waste away.

So go out there and fly,

And soar above the stars.

You aren’t the person you’ve been made to be

Your the person you want to become.

So lift up high, and grab that third chance,

But don’t let go, oh heaven’s no.

For once you see that it truly is a blessing,

Your eyes are open,

Now fall among the broken.
*

For in order to climb, you must fall,

And you must strive to become well.

Be the best you, and never let go,

Of that dream in your heart, the one with All.

*

You are allowed to stumble,

You are allowed to weep,

But don’t let some hurt in the past,

Make you someone who is weak.

You know you better than anyone,

Just follow that simple dream

For that dream is love, and love prevails

Over all that is unseen.

*

I love you all,

A. Willow

Rise

The sun shall rise on days that it’s coldest
The warm rays will peak out over the mountainside
To shine its light upon your head
And just when your thinking nothing can get better
The sun shall encompass you in all its glory.
There may be dark days but the sun will always rise.

The Story of the Song

*

Flowers bloomed in the meadow,

Where church bells rang of future.

The sunny rays streamed across the grass

And covered all that would never last.

The deer they grazed in eloquence of fate

 But the bear hid in shadows of triumph.

The loon across the sandy lake

moved along with none.

*

So the church bells sing to the tune in one

With the essence of the meadow’s song.

Life flits by and the world still goes on.

Nothing has ended, it’s only just begun.

 *

The couple stream from the wedding,

Hair flinging and a veil falling to the light.

They prance and laugh, and share a kiss of mirth,

For soon they shall experience birth.

*

Their beginning as a couple

Is a mystery, but we know they are double.

Twice the heart of love is many,

And too few is love where it is empty.

*

They come and go through the meadow of time

And soon their child comes of nine.

He sings and dances among the stars

The night has fallen, and there shall be scars.

But the little one doesn’t see,

For the night shelters thee.

Prancing along until the day

He enters God’s hand to say…

“When shall my life begin?

I’ve waited so long.

Never have I felt so empty,

Or lost without the cause of love.

There is no one’s hand to hold

No shoulder to cry upon.

Who shall lift me up,

And who shall I hug?”

*
Twenty years pass among the land,

Yet still the meadow lasts,

The man who cried to God one day

Now holds a child’s hand.

They laugh and play, and sing a song

Of no worries and no woes.

Instead they sing of fate and love,

In the meadow’s everlasting song.

Tidings From You

The Change

the shift

the drift

All is meant for you to lift

up your life on your mother’s palms

so go now young ones and sing your song.

The Knife

the sorrow

the pain

All is never too much to gain

You scream and you shout at mother adew

for you thought she’d be the one to give you new

The Life

the challenge

the boat

It is your way to tarry around the mote

for love is within you to share

just open up and let in air

Tomorrow

today

the past

None is meant to last

so go now before you forget

the one voice from god

in your heart

and

in your song.

A. Willow

The Story of Change

Hello everyone,

I’m proud to give you an update of how I’m overcoming my depression. For so long I have hidden in the dark, and finally a year ago, almost to the day, I decided to change my life. I started this blog, and wanted to improve the ill sickness that cost so much of my life pain.

At the beginning, I was still negative.  My draining cloud of thoughts only rained out negativity. Slowly, with a lot of effort I overcame all my obstacles. I pushed myself to eat healthy, to exercise, because those are crucial to helping someone like me to overcome the nasty depression that clings to us.

And so I went on this journey knowing fully well that it was easier to stay in the dark, but knowing doom would only await me if I were to stay in misery. I hated myself, still three months after I started this blog, and still I couldn’t keep up with a program for fitness, and money and food were hard to come by. I had to buy inexpensive chemical food because I couldn’t afford the organic lifestyle.

Everything drastically changed. During the year many great things happened to me. I finally began to love myself again, I began smiling everyday thinking about how I want to change the present and my future, I tackeled a half-marathon and realized that I am stronger than I ever imagined, I went to firefighting school and rappeled off buildings and entered the burning flames. I found my strength and my courage, and this sparked the person that I am. I found out that I am a rescuer, whether through my words or by my physical ability I want to help rescue the world from the evil that lurks within our hearts, in our minds, and the catastrophes that we don’t have any control over.

For a while, I kept up an exercise routine, especially while attending the school, and I began to believe that the reason I was so happy and overjoyed with this new way of living is because I fell in love with it, and exercise and eating right were keeping my mind healthy as well.

I will say this though, I began to fall again. I stopped exercising during December and eating healthy was impossible with all the wonderful treats that the family cooked up. So as December went by and passed, and into January I still haven’t taken the time to do those healthy things.

At first I believed that I was doomed to face my depression again. I waited for it to come and overwhelm me….but do you know what I did next? I would NOT accept the depression in. For a few days it was trying to leak in, making me cry for various reasons…but each time it did- I. SHUT. IT. OUT.

There is no reason for me to believe now that your problems with depression lies on the outside. Yes everything I did helped and yes it was crucial for me then, but now that I finally believe in myself and I believe I have the power to overcome this horrible disease….I’m cured!

I don’t need those outside things to make me happy anymore for I am truly happy from within, and that is the beauty I have found this last year. All your power to change your life doesn’t rely on others, or the world to change- It’s You.

If your wondering, I will continue to strive to better myself and grow, and become as healthy as possible, because that stuff makes me even happier than I already am. First do what you love, and once you become who you are there is no going back to losing yourself. Fight and strive for happiness and you shall find it.

Believe in yourself, for there is no greater power than to love from the within to change the world around you.

Love,

A. Willow

The Story of the Galaxy Key

This is a story of a girl, who vanquished the land of evil lore. She searched far and wide for her hearth, but found it in her birth. For as she stopped, inside her head, she rested and believed the journey was dead. “No more can I face the sorrows of the world when there is endless tomorrows.”

And like a gift, wrapped in a box, something glowed from the palm of her mosque. She looked down upon it with wonder, and soon she realized it and pondered. It was her beating heart in hand, glowing ever brightly, a smile escaped her, she took a stand.

“This is the secret to the universe, I must cherish it for eternity onwards.” So there she found, in her own room, the galaxy’s key to blissful eternity. For we must look within in order to sow, the seeds of life that replenish our souls. Her smile cost nothing dear, and her heart forever fluttered here.

This was the story of a galaxy meeting, one forbidden by contradiction and meaning. But look within the heart you have, and a galaxy you shall hold in your hand.

The Calling of a Saint

There are a lot of things in my life that I’m unsure about. I used to toss and turn over the problems I face, thinking that I’m doomed if I make the wrong decision, or that I would be hated if I didn’t pick the right one.

I always thought about people, about what they wanted. “Do the other girls at school think I’m a dork for wearing this?” or the classic, “I wonder if that guy over there thinks I’m cute… no my hairs a mess today. I shouldn’t let him see me.” Or the possible, “If I do this, my family will think I’m a failure and/or hate me.”

There are many things that used to go through my mind that repeated the same rhythem…”what does everybody else think?”

Now, I can say I never think about that when I’m making my own decisions. I wear what I want to wear because it suits me or is comfy…I picked it out for a reason. I don’t worry about what I look like when I meet a cute guy, I just smile and know that’s more than enough to attract the one I’m looking for. And with my family, they just have to accept who I am, and if they can’t then that is their dilemma, and I can’t do anything to change their minds. But I never allow it to affect me.

Here is a prime example:

Yesterday, while visiting my 8 month pregnant sister, I came across a problem. I confessed to her, about the guy I’m in love with, told her I was going to finally confess to him why I love him and for how long.

She glared at me. She told me, “You don’t know what love is. You have to be with someone and know their bad side and good side in order to love someone. Your just desperate and looking for someone right now.”

A year ago…I would have agreed. I would have said, “Yeah, your probably right.” But now!!! I was devastated. This is my sister, telling me I wasn’t in love with someone….do you know how long and hard I have focused on my inner self? I have listened to sin, I’ve followed lust, I even met jealousy once a week for coffee. There have been plenty of times that the demons of Hell (!!!!!) came to visit me and dragged my soul down to hell with them, even though my body stayed on earth.

I’ve been tempted by the devil, and tortured by his thoughts…but I’ve stopped. Don’t you see, I have messed up just like every other person in this world. I’ve thought about being selfish, I’ve hated others for what they had and I didn’t have, and I fell into a state of depression for over a year….and how do you think I came out of it?

Love

…*Silence….

……Don’t tell me, that I don’t know who I love. Don’t tell me, that I don’t know HOW to love. And most certainly do NOT tell me that you know more about love than me.

My soul…it’s been searching for the key to life, and I’ve found it. I finally have. It’s by living through love and by love every day. It’s by FEELING, and not thinking, not judging, just FEELING what is right. I know now what I must do with my life, without pressure because I choose to do the things that I love, I choose to follow my heart every day. I don’t pick apart my brain wondering what will happen. I can’t anymore.

And for her to tell me that I don’t love someone…it broke my heart in two. My own sister telling me what I can or cannot feel. What is fake to her is certainly real to me.

I love this man and always will. I know this not because I’ve thought about how awesome he is (And he is pretty awesome), but by feeling what is right. Light surrounds me when I am with him. Warmth flutters through me when we are both as real as can be. Fake is what makes us feel those other things. Love is what sets us free, and I’m finally admitting to him that I love him.

I already know I will be denied….at first. I’m expecting it. I feel that too. For he doesn’t want to open up because he’s scared that someday…I could be his world. That there is a life better waiting for him than the one he’s living now. And he’s scared that he might actually deserved to be fully loved back.

(I’m real darling. One hundred percent. Every moment I am with you. I am yours.)

Love isn’t something you can think about. It’s a feeling you get that words can’t possibly fully describe. Your mind can’t understand love my dear sister…and you most certainly can’t tell if someone is in love by using your mind….

Use your heart. When you see a couple in love…you don’t think, “Well this is why and blah blah blah….”, no, the next time you see someone in love, and you know its true….its because your feeling it too. You feel their love, that is SO GREAT, rushing off of them and leaking on to you. And when you see that couple you begin to think “I want what they have”…but only because you felt it.

I am so tired of people telling me that I’m obsessed with writing, that I’m only “in love” with him because he’s the only guy I think is perfect, and how everyone sees me as this mess up who goes with the flow way too often.

Everything I described up above is because of love, and nothing else matters.

I love you all, and please forgive me for my shout out. My heart was hurt for only but a moment, but it is fully working now. Without it, I couldn’t have written this post.

A. Willow