When we LIVE our lives

Great accomplishment comes when you are happy. The sky above seems to bow down to you. The strangers on the street smile. There is no dark corner in reality….just the bliss of life.

How can we be like this? Always smiling, always looking at the bright side and seeing the beauty in life.

The secret is easy.

Love comes our way when we open our eyes, the songs of sorrow leaves and fades, can’t you see, its within you to change. 

Just feel your heart beat and know it is because of love. You were born into this world with the greatest power this world knows.

Love and love everything around you. The darkness that has consumed you in the past doesn’t stand a chance. Feel the soul next to you, and realize….that they are a being of love.

Once you accept your heart and release ALL of your love into this world. That is when you become happy, that is when everything seems to be okay, and THAT is the trick to living our lives.

Are you ready to live?

The Way We View

I met this guy once who thought he had it all figured out. He thought he was embracing life to the fullest, and accepting everything that had happened to him. He told me that he is only stronger from his experiences, and that now he looks back and knows he has gotten over the hardships in his life.

But I could tell, he hadn’t. 

He was so filled with anger, that I could see it in his eyes, feel it by his brash actions, and the negative tone he chose. He flung his past right at me, expecting me to feel bad for him, expecting me to sympathize with him…but that isn’t getting over it.

I tried telling him, that in life, we must accept what has happened and make peace with it. He said, “Oh I have definitely  made peace with my past, and I accept it one hundred percent.” but he still had this hate clouding his judgement.

He blamed his friends for betraying him, and leaving him by himself. He blamed his mother for his terrible childhood, and the death of his father for making his life rough. He couldn’t accept the fact that his friends chose another Best-man over him, and he still thought that he had accepted everything.

No, that isn’t acceptance, at all.

Acceptance of what has happened lies deeper than just acknowledging what has been. You must see the results, and allow your soul to accept everything. There is no hate, but rather love for the ones that have done these things to you. You understand that not everything is fair, and that you won’t allow your past to make you who you are. It’s not a time to wallow or grieve, but rather a time to soak in the knowledge that you have the ability to change the future. Right now, in this moment, is the only moment that matters. Not ten minutes from now, nor two days, or months, or years. Acceptance lies in knowing that the past can only harm you if you let it. You can’t let the past make you who you are. Become one with your soul, and feel peace with that. You are a being of pure love, and wasting your time hating others, or hiding your pain behind the hate, is only masking the problem.

Those people misjudged you, or intentionally hurt you aren’t the problem,

You are the problem. For hate comes from within you, and not from without. And that is what you must change. Accept what is, and feel love for the ones that have harmed you at one point. For they cannot harm you anymore as long as you use the power of love.

Love you all, and hope that through my own experiences, I can help you as well.

A. Willow

Road of the Cursed

*

The sands of time whip past my face.

Nothing matters in this race.

All I’ve had,

And All I’ve known,

Are gone now,

On this broken road.

 *

I feel the course sands sink deep

Drowning my heart as we speak.

Your lips so close,

But all I can do,

Is stare blankly right at you.

*

You’ve lost all cause,

All the emotions of the just,

And you sit there staring,

Wondering if I’m marring.

Can’t you picture this world without,

Cause and grief,

And feelings of doubt.

Nothing compares

To those blank stares,

Of ever lasting peace…

That is no there.

*

Take two more steps down that road,

Then ever before.

For if you take two more,

Its one more than back.

We flit along this challenged path

Wondering how on earth

We are where we’re at.

And yet we curse the day we try

Because of heaven in the sky.

They hurt you so by leaving you dry

Filled with nothing but empty eyes.

 *

Sore is the ways,

Of heaven says.

Nothing matters on the road these days.

You watch as they go,

Amongst the clouds

Entering a world,

Up there,

Somehow.

And yet you mock the very soul,

Wishing to be a part of that brow.

You suppress the being within you dear,

Even though its very clear.

Your souls want love,

That’s all you need,

In order to survive,

The very greed,

Of the earth that’s swallowed humanity

So don’t let go unless you ARE insanity.

*

You see what you want,

But can’t comprehend,

Your own souls on your beds.

You sleep and dream of beautiful doors,

And yet, these doors you ignore.

So stand tall, and take a final stand,

And deplore your reprimand.

 *

Tell God all the hurt,

That you are feeling,

Even if it’s short.

For upon this earth you are alone,

Unless you are filled with love

And a divinity like a flying dove.

Don’t caste out the sorrow,

Embrace it in the morrow.

It shows that you care

And want something more.

So love all creations

And feel what’s in the air.

The Story of a Feared Storm

I looked out the window.

Snow covered the land. Nothing green or brown in sight. I raised my hand to the glass, and felt my fingertips melt away the ice. The snow was soft, but with the air blowing in a harsh wind, the world around me looked menacing.

With a sigh I sat  back down, and cuddled deeper into my blankets. The candle was lit of vanilla frost, and all was quiet with just the sounds, of the creaking house with the force from the wind.

“One Day,” I said as I looked past the pane, “One Day I’ll brave that storm.” And I knew it had more to do with my soul, than just a simple walk in the dark.

“Why not today?” said the voice inside my head and I cringed upon hearing it.

It was too cold to go outside today. Maybe tomorrow or the next…

“You are not living.” said the voice.

I knew that it was right.

Scared of the world and what it brought, I didn’t want to face the freezing temperatures. The day was filled with endless possibilities, and I spent it nestled inside.

“I don’t like the cold, I want to stay warm. It’s the way I feel comfortable. Heat is my friend, and it shall never end, the cold that lingers outside.” I tried convincing my conscience, but it didn’t pay heed to me.

“You are staying the same, not growing, and you’re doing more damage than me. Why can’t you live unafraid, face the toils of the day. Brave out your storms, no matter the cost, for within you, you have been lost. Strength and growth only come when you battle sin. So take a stand and challenge yourself. Enter the darkness of your true self.”

And there it was, so simple and true. I hadn’t realized I had any clue. But now I know the storm outside, is more than what I see with mere eyes. I took a step up and braced the door, entering a world of fears no more.

“Beauty, not poor.”

 

It’s all a part of life. We see the ugly, we see the truth…but what’s truth?

Is it the world society has created…or the being within?

Do you hide you inner essence, the person you repress, because of them?

“I can’t do this, I can’t do that”…. it isn’t right….

LIFE is meant to be spent,

Living amongst your soul’s side.

You weren’t meant to hide.

Delve in deep to the world around you,

the souls of love, and heaven have you.

There is no mistaking what is right and wrong,

when you use your heart instead of your mind.

LOVE is PURE, but only because,

we have faced our sins, and know our wrongs.

Accept what has happened, and together stand,

with the God, the Christ, and Their outstretched hands.

It isn’t that hard to do, if you know the way,

but if you have difficulty, then just stay.

Stay put, where you’re at.

and breath out, all the sins you’ve had.

Feel the darkness of the devil leave, and know

God is with you…He never leaves.

He wants you to succeed, even if it doesn’t seem,

Like He is there, and rather, pulling out your hair.

So the next time you leave,

don’t carry your burdens.

Talk to God, and all will be forgiven.

 

I love you all, and hope you find your way out of the darkness that clings to us as demons do.

A. Willow

Depression Took a Hold of Me

I was looking back at some of my old posts on this blog….they were sad. Yes, I was in the process of getting out of depression, and yes, they were happier than when I was in full depression.

But looking back at myself now, I wanted to hug the old A. Willow, and allow her to cry in my arms as I tell her, “Everything is fine, just feel the love of the Divine.” Because honestly, I was still very negative, even back in march. I couldn’t hold onto life on my own, and my heart wasn’t whole.

Now I feel happy, sometimes tired, but healthy. Depression hasn’t hit me in months, and I’m smiling all the time.

“Hush now,” I want to say, “Hush and let life flow.” For back then I didn’t know, I was impatient, and didn’t know how to grow.

My heart was torn from a man whom I loved, but he never raise his hand. Instead he was swept away by another girl, my friend.

Here I am, hearing my old self, and I can’t help but to feel whole.

There are times in our lives that we are allowed to love, but sometimes we must accept that it is in the past. Nothing is for certain, nothing stays forever, and “nothing” is a part of life.

For we must feel the emptiness, the regrets, and discomforts, in order to grow and understand the feeling of love and to appreciate it when it finally does come.

“You’re okay, just know, you are loved, no matter what you show.”

Weaving back out of the past, I must take the trail to the future. It is unknown, but I’m ready to show, the happy smile and a warm heart.

Love,

A. Willow

The Sound of Wings

It’s hard to stay focused,

When all I want to do is scream.

I want to run the other way,

and pretend it’s unseen.

 

But then I hear a song

so sweet in my head.

I listen to its fluttering beat,

as if it were the wings of a bird

 

That music in the air,

it’s telling me that I should care

to lift my head above the clouds,

and see what’s all around.

 

We aren’t meant to live our lives in fear,

or to have a challenge, and walk the other way.

WE are meant for something great,

and I challenge you to stay.

 

A. Willow

 

Slipping Up

The last two weeks has been rough.

I didn’t fall back into depression, but I started to feel drained and tired all the time(My first warning sign that I was teetering  on falling into the hole.)Then, yesterday, as I woke up, I was upset with myself for being so careless. For allowing my life to just slip by again.

I decided to change.

Every time I felt like frowning, I smiled, even if there was no reason to. I flipped my world around, forcing myself to think positive, and acting as though it was the best day in the world.

I’m thankful I did that.

You all know me to be this optimistic person who has it all together…I don’t. I slip sometimes, and make a lot of mistakes, and that’s okay. Just catch your mistakes, or if your feeling down CHANGE it. Nobody can turn your world around but you. Now start moving, and don’t look back. There’s no sense when you have a whole life ahead of you to put smiles on instead of frowns.

Love,

A. Willow

Shattered Glass

What’s so different between the two?

I don’t understand the transformation taking place.

Could it be, that another has entered, the body of her, and never can she shatter.

Shattering down, glass of the past.

“You knew it would never last.”

So take hold of yourself, and embrace the look.

That girl inside….she’s looking for a hook.

A hook to grasp, as you dig deep inside,

and pull her out,

the girl you hide.

“That’s  right, I’m  talking to you”

The person sitting in plain view.

You aren’t yourself, as you look in the mirror,

so smile for a change and feel the letter.

The letter you write to your soul,

wishing you were whole.

“I’m right here.” you say as you pull her out.

That girl inside of you that you doubt.

Love yourself, and smile a little

It won’t take long until you are in the middle.

Hallow

Halloween, A time reminding me of the ghosts of my past. When I was sinking in the darkness and demons haunted  my thoughts. There were no lanterns or lights from houses, just a time where I curled up and feared the monsters in my life.

Depression isn’t pretty, and it feels as though you are in a horror movie your whole life. There is no escape in the pits of the sadness, no way to climb the deep hole that you fell into. Goblins mock you above and shout shrilled screams. You cover your ears crying from the fear of the witches circling you, the devil coaxing you, and the beasts grabbing you.

I felt hallow. Empty from the inside, but feeling fear all around me with the blood curdling screams of tomorrows.

Halloween. Its a reminder that I am above fear, above the fake pain that comes from the brain.

I now can see the pumpkins as I pass the houses, the kids on the street dressed as cats and Katniss. It’s a loving time for families to celebrate together, not a time to dwell in the dark and fall to the negative forces in the world.

Don’t give up my friends. Halloween is a reminder of how strong you really are. Fear is an object of the imagination. Conquer this fear by knowing you will be okay. Fear is weakness, and fear only comes from not believing you are going to be alright.

Happy Halloween,

A. Willlow