The Story of a Baby on the Way

It’s starts as an itch as you pass one. Their bright child eyes looking up at you, helpless…and yet happy beyond compare. You can’t help but to smile back, and wish somehow, you could see the same world they saw. The one where villains stayed in books, and the heroes always won. With love conquering all.

For that is what a child sees. They see love, and they share it with you even if they don’t know who you are.

So here you are, stuck watching that child wave goodbye, and that small piece of happiness you had for a moment vanishes into the brightly lit sky.

You wander through your life, going to work and doing your job, talking to friends and family, and suddenly it hits. Babies seem to be everywhere, in the store, the vet, or in the street. It doesn’t matter where, you just seem to notice them. Like a little  happy disease following you around, their eyes are always on you…smiling.

So you go about your day, worried you’ll be alone for the rest of your life. You toss and you turn in bed, wondering, when am I going to find the one?

So you imagine little “you’s” and how small their hands will be in your palm, and yet…you don’t actually know. You’ve never held a baby yourself, but all you can feel is this raging happiness when you see one, and a simple tear when they go. You want to show them the good in the world and shield them from the bad. Even if they aren’t your kids, you still wish to be like their dad. So on you go, venturing forth into the unknown, waiting for the day they call a wedding to you.

You feel the love of a lovers kiss, and then again you think of this. The babies are swirling in your head, and yet it doesn’t make sense. Why on earth would a baby be of as much importance as this. Babies are hard work, they pee and poop, and sometimes they like to spit up, and cry without a break. So you go along your way, scared of the day, when your wife is pregnant with your son on the way.

You panic and sometimes want to bolt out the door, when you see her scream with raging deplore. She is needy and consistently sick, you don’t understand what has happened in this. So you wait out the months thinking it won’t get worse, but the delivery room brings chaos and a hell of a big hook.

You fear for her safety, and wonder if it was all worth the wait, to see the look on her face, that’s when you’ll stay. Holding that baby for the first time, is like heaven sent to earth. All Sublime. You cannot hold that baby close enough for comfort, you wish to spread joy and smiles among his life, and never let the villains take his might. So you smile with your wife, and sing a song to the tot, and there you find happiness….there you found God.

The Story of Change

Hello everyone,

I’m proud to give you an update of how I’m overcoming my depression. For so long I have hidden in the dark, and finally a year ago, almost to the day, I decided to change my life. I started this blog, and wanted to improve the ill sickness that cost so much of my life pain.

At the beginning, I was still negative.  My draining cloud of thoughts only rained out negativity. Slowly, with a lot of effort I overcame all my obstacles. I pushed myself to eat healthy, to exercise, because those are crucial to helping someone like me to overcome the nasty depression that clings to us.

And so I went on this journey knowing fully well that it was easier to stay in the dark, but knowing doom would only await me if I were to stay in misery. I hated myself, still three months after I started this blog, and still I couldn’t keep up with a program for fitness, and money and food were hard to come by. I had to buy inexpensive chemical food because I couldn’t afford the organic lifestyle.

Everything drastically changed. During the year many great things happened to me. I finally began to love myself again, I began smiling everyday thinking about how I want to change the present and my future, I tackeled a half-marathon and realized that I am stronger than I ever imagined, I went to firefighting school and rappeled off buildings and entered the burning flames. I found my strength and my courage, and this sparked the person that I am. I found out that I am a rescuer, whether through my words or by my physical ability I want to help rescue the world from the evil that lurks within our hearts, in our minds, and the catastrophes that we don’t have any control over.

For a while, I kept up an exercise routine, especially while attending the school, and I began to believe that the reason I was so happy and overjoyed with this new way of living is because I fell in love with it, and exercise and eating right were keeping my mind healthy as well.

I will say this though, I began to fall again. I stopped exercising during December and eating healthy was impossible with all the wonderful treats that the family cooked up. So as December went by and passed, and into January I still haven’t taken the time to do those healthy things.

At first I believed that I was doomed to face my depression again. I waited for it to come and overwhelm me….but do you know what I did next? I would NOT accept the depression in. For a few days it was trying to leak in, making me cry for various reasons…but each time it did- I. SHUT. IT. OUT.

There is no reason for me to believe now that your problems with depression lies on the outside. Yes everything I did helped and yes it was crucial for me then, but now that I finally believe in myself and I believe I have the power to overcome this horrible disease….I’m cured!

I don’t need those outside things to make me happy anymore for I am truly happy from within, and that is the beauty I have found this last year. All your power to change your life doesn’t rely on others, or the world to change- It’s You.

If your wondering, I will continue to strive to better myself and grow, and become as healthy as possible, because that stuff makes me even happier than I already am. First do what you love, and once you become who you are there is no going back to losing yourself. Fight and strive for happiness and you shall find it.

Believe in yourself, for there is no greater power than to love from the within to change the world around you.

Love,

A. Willow

Lush Green Opportunity= Travel!!!

There has been something big on my mind for the last few weeks or so. Traveling across the country isn’t something I see every year, and it’s something I love doing, but more importantly I want to travel worldwide. Never have I crossed over the U.S. borders even though I live a few hours away from Canada.

With my goals, wishes, and dreams of becoming a full time author, I know the more experience I get with other cultures will expand how I write, as well as the scenery for the locations of my books.

I’ve been wanting to get a passport, but I don’t have the money now, nor will I even be able to go to Europe anytime soon because I’m just making enough money to pay off bills and get food and gas.

But I’ve also been reading these books like Wishes Fulfilled by Dr. Dyer, or the Power of Now by Echart Tolle, and their wisdom has shown me that I must imagine that I am already living the life that I want, as though I have been published and have enough money to go on a random trip when it occurs.

I don’t know how to describe my everyday life, but I will say that I think this is going to be a big year for me, and why not travel the world? Why not? Nobody told me I can’t, God never said I can’t make more money for traveling. So I’m going to do it, I’m going to save my money, (very little at a time) and start it for my funds. First a Passport is on the list and then from there I’m thinking Ireland will be the best first foreign country to visit. 

There is something so magical about that place. I’ve heard stories from people who visited and some from my own research, but the lush green grass, the boisterous pubs, and the homey atmosphere just seems a perfect match for a rookie traveler like myself 😉

I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hopefully with a little prayer, a lot of effort on my part, and a positive mindset I’ll be able to afford this wonderful urge that has suddenly taken me.

Love you all,

A. Willow

New Beginnings

Today is the first day of 2015, a year I plan on being powerful.

For so long I have dwelled in the past, and thought constantly about the future, but when you do that you lose focus on the NOW.

2015 is here and it will only be here for another 364 days. Each moment of this year I plan on making a change.

I don’t have new years resolutions because I know the growth comes from within, and you don’t need a resolution.

It’s a shift. Molding my new life with my hopes and dreams of what my heart wants to do.

I won’t give up hope that there is someone out there for me, and I believe this is the year.

I won’t give up my dreams of becoming a published author, and I believe this is the beginning of my writing career.

There is no set time in when things are SUPPOSED to happen, only when you get up, and work for what you beilieve in is when magical things will begin to happen.

Believe my fellow followers, that is the first key in changing your life.

Changing your year,

Changing you day.

Good luck in 2015, I’m already loving every second of it.

A. Willow