Lush Green Opportunity= Travel!!!

There has been something big on my mind for the last few weeks or so. Traveling across the country isn’t something I see every year, and it’s something I love doing, but more importantly I want to travel worldwide. Never have I crossed over the U.S. borders even though I live a few hours away from Canada.

With my goals, wishes, and dreams of becoming a full time author, I know the more experience I get with other cultures will expand how I write, as well as the scenery for the locations of my books.

I’ve been wanting to get a passport, but I don’t have the money now, nor will I even be able to go to Europe anytime soon because I’m just making enough money to pay off bills and get food and gas.

But I’ve also been reading these books like Wishes Fulfilled by Dr. Dyer, or the Power of Now by Echart Tolle, and their wisdom has shown me that I must imagine that I am already living the life that I want, as though I have been published and have enough money to go on a random trip when it occurs.

I don’t know how to describe my everyday life, but I will say that I think this is going to be a big year for me, and why not travel the world? Why not? Nobody told me I can’t, God never said I can’t make more money for traveling. So I’m going to do it, I’m going to save my money, (very little at a time) and start it for my funds. First a Passport is on the list and then from there I’m thinking Ireland will be the best first foreign country to visit. 

There is something so magical about that place. I’ve heard stories from people who visited and some from my own research, but the lush green grass, the boisterous pubs, and the homey atmosphere just seems a perfect match for a rookie traveler like myself 😉

I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hopefully with a little prayer, a lot of effort on my part, and a positive mindset I’ll be able to afford this wonderful urge that has suddenly taken me.

Love you all,

A. Willow

The Calling of a Saint

There are a lot of things in my life that I’m unsure about. I used to toss and turn over the problems I face, thinking that I’m doomed if I make the wrong decision, or that I would be hated if I didn’t pick the right one.

I always thought about people, about what they wanted. “Do the other girls at school think I’m a dork for wearing this?” or the classic, “I wonder if that guy over there thinks I’m cute… no my hairs a mess today. I shouldn’t let him see me.” Or the possible, “If I do this, my family will think I’m a failure and/or hate me.”

There are many things that used to go through my mind that repeated the same rhythem…”what does everybody else think?”

Now, I can say I never think about that when I’m making my own decisions. I wear what I want to wear because it suits me or is comfy…I picked it out for a reason. I don’t worry about what I look like when I meet a cute guy, I just smile and know that’s more than enough to attract the one I’m looking for. And with my family, they just have to accept who I am, and if they can’t then that is their dilemma, and I can’t do anything to change their minds. But I never allow it to affect me.

Here is a prime example:

Yesterday, while visiting my 8 month pregnant sister, I came across a problem. I confessed to her, about the guy I’m in love with, told her I was going to finally confess to him why I love him and for how long.

She glared at me. She told me, “You don’t know what love is. You have to be with someone and know their bad side and good side in order to love someone. Your just desperate and looking for someone right now.”

A year ago…I would have agreed. I would have said, “Yeah, your probably right.” But now!!! I was devastated. This is my sister, telling me I wasn’t in love with someone….do you know how long and hard I have focused on my inner self? I have listened to sin, I’ve followed lust, I even met jealousy once a week for coffee. There have been plenty of times that the demons of Hell (!!!!!) came to visit me and dragged my soul down to hell with them, even though my body stayed on earth.

I’ve been tempted by the devil, and tortured by his thoughts…but I’ve stopped. Don’t you see, I have messed up just like every other person in this world. I’ve thought about being selfish, I’ve hated others for what they had and I didn’t have, and I fell into a state of depression for over a year….and how do you think I came out of it?

Love

…*Silence….

……Don’t tell me, that I don’t know who I love. Don’t tell me, that I don’t know HOW to love. And most certainly do NOT tell me that you know more about love than me.

My soul…it’s been searching for the key to life, and I’ve found it. I finally have. It’s by living through love and by love every day. It’s by FEELING, and not thinking, not judging, just FEELING what is right. I know now what I must do with my life, without pressure because I choose to do the things that I love, I choose to follow my heart every day. I don’t pick apart my brain wondering what will happen. I can’t anymore.

And for her to tell me that I don’t love someone…it broke my heart in two. My own sister telling me what I can or cannot feel. What is fake to her is certainly real to me.

I love this man and always will. I know this not because I’ve thought about how awesome he is (And he is pretty awesome), but by feeling what is right. Light surrounds me when I am with him. Warmth flutters through me when we are both as real as can be. Fake is what makes us feel those other things. Love is what sets us free, and I’m finally admitting to him that I love him.

I already know I will be denied….at first. I’m expecting it. I feel that too. For he doesn’t want to open up because he’s scared that someday…I could be his world. That there is a life better waiting for him than the one he’s living now. And he’s scared that he might actually deserved to be fully loved back.

(I’m real darling. One hundred percent. Every moment I am with you. I am yours.)

Love isn’t something you can think about. It’s a feeling you get that words can’t possibly fully describe. Your mind can’t understand love my dear sister…and you most certainly can’t tell if someone is in love by using your mind….

Use your heart. When you see a couple in love…you don’t think, “Well this is why and blah blah blah….”, no, the next time you see someone in love, and you know its true….its because your feeling it too. You feel their love, that is SO GREAT, rushing off of them and leaking on to you. And when you see that couple you begin to think “I want what they have”…but only because you felt it.

I am so tired of people telling me that I’m obsessed with writing, that I’m only “in love” with him because he’s the only guy I think is perfect, and how everyone sees me as this mess up who goes with the flow way too often.

Everything I described up above is because of love, and nothing else matters.

I love you all, and please forgive me for my shout out. My heart was hurt for only but a moment, but it is fully working now. Without it, I couldn’t have written this post.

A. Willow

The Story of the Cold

It was a cold day. Not from the frost that nipped at my nose, but from a story I’m about to show.

The day grew colder as I stepped from my car, and to the coffee shop, where I work, I walked. I went up the steps and in the door. And the store warmed my heart, and my smile grew more. I couldn’t be happier serving coffee and making tea, but then…something startled me.

My phone went off, and who would have guessed, it was that guy I was with…only I thought he was dead. For to me it was over, and to him I was not…he sent me a text that didn’t deserve to be caught.

I read it once, and gagged inside….an anger rose and I wanted to run and hide. How could such anger have visited me here, inside my sanctuary of cups filled, but not with my tears. For he sent me something…that was disrespectful. Not pertaining to a rhythm that I had hoped.

I deleted his contact, and blocked his code. So there you have it…the story of the cold.

For I didn’t bother to deal with this madness he started that would end true bliss. He only sees the body, and never the soul. And so I gave him a cold shoulder, and ended that darkened hole.

 

 

When we LIVE our lives

Great accomplishment comes when you are happy. The sky above seems to bow down to you. The strangers on the street smile. There is no dark corner in reality….just the bliss of life.

How can we be like this? Always smiling, always looking at the bright side and seeing the beauty in life.

The secret is easy.

Love comes our way when we open our eyes, the songs of sorrow leaves and fades, can’t you see, its within you to change. 

Just feel your heart beat and know it is because of love. You were born into this world with the greatest power this world knows.

Love and love everything around you. The darkness that has consumed you in the past doesn’t stand a chance. Feel the soul next to you, and realize….that they are a being of love.

Once you accept your heart and release ALL of your love into this world. That is when you become happy, that is when everything seems to be okay, and THAT is the trick to living our lives.

Are you ready to live?

Before and After- The Story of Change

A. Willow, you’re being stupid.

No, I’m following my heart.

Why did you send him that, what are you crazy?

No…I’m in love. Can’t YOU accept that?

You’ve ruined your chances, he won’t let you in.

No, I’ve only improved my chances by showing him ME.

Why can’t you just wait for him to see you?

Because that would mean possibly waiting forever.

Isn’t forever being friends better than being rejected?

No, in fact, its wrong. To love someone, there is no stronger gift, so why wouldn’t you want to embrace it and show them all of you?

….Because I’m scared.

Well don’t be. In this life, love is meant to be embraced. And that is what I am doing, embracing my love for him.

What if he denies you, and you tell him you don’t want to be friends.

I can’t think about “what if’s” or about my plans. I need to embrace what I know, and that’s the fact that I love him. All of his soul is what I want to embrace, and I will share it with him, because there is no fear.

But you ARE scared of his denial…so what are you saying?

The fact that I am scared is showing that I care, but to overcome fear means that I accept that a greater power has a plan for me, and even though I might not be able to control it, I can embrace every step of the way into my serenity.

Oh…well, why am I scared?

Because you are my past-self. You are the mind and not the heart. You fear what you think you will lose. I love what I choose. I love him dearly and am not afraid, to follow my heart, for with courage there lies a trail that was hidden from the mind. And on that trail lies happiness that I can’t comprehend. You fear. I embrace. You keep hiding and ducking down the same trail, where as I step off the path, and follow mother nature.

You’re so intense, isn’t love something of the mind?

No it is your soul. What we are all meant to live by. You will never know what will happen unless you take a chance. And love is the greatest risk we should take, for we were always meant to have it.

Everything you are saying, I cannot comprehend. I try and I try, but it’s not making sense.

That is because you cannot feel it. You keep thinking in circles, trying to analyze something that you cannot figure out. Use your heart, and all answers will be clear. There is nothing more rewarding than to feel.

Life

Life is something that we are living, right now, in this very moment. It wasn’t yesterday, or tomorrows journey that truly matter.

Life is a question that we all must face. Is this the life I want to live? Is this where I want to be?

So many times have I changed my perspective on life, and fully accepted “what is” instead of “what could be”.

Life isn’t a mystery to unsolve, its a journey of taking one step at a time.

Leaving your mark on the past, it does change the life you live now, but it doesn’t define you.

Take a chance in the moment, and dare to step off the path you have wandered for so long now.

Is that life different than the life you would have lived staying on the same path?

Yes…yes it is.

So today I came up with my own question. What do I want to do…or rather….what does my heart want to achieve. I love people, and helping others, but my heart is still in love with the idea of writing books. I want to show the world that there is no need to fear. That love overpowers all others, and with the Light in your heart, you can accomplish anything. No matter your status, no matter how horrible of a life you’ve experienced previously. The YOU that you imagine yourself to be is only made from your own perception. You need to change that perception to loving all of yourself, loving all around you, and knowing that you can do anything.

We create our own future by living in life, right now, in this very moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today. Love is the answer to everything, and until you see that, or rather FEEL the love, you will never be where you want to. You will never truly be happy. And I know, deep down within my loving soul, that all of us, even you, were meant to live a full loving life with light guiding you home.

I don’t know when I should step off the path, but the future doesn’t matter. Right now, I’m stepping, creating a new trail, and leaving only love in my tracks.

Love,

A. Willow

The Way We View

I met this guy once who thought he had it all figured out. He thought he was embracing life to the fullest, and accepting everything that had happened to him. He told me that he is only stronger from his experiences, and that now he looks back and knows he has gotten over the hardships in his life.

But I could tell, he hadn’t. 

He was so filled with anger, that I could see it in his eyes, feel it by his brash actions, and the negative tone he chose. He flung his past right at me, expecting me to feel bad for him, expecting me to sympathize with him…but that isn’t getting over it.

I tried telling him, that in life, we must accept what has happened and make peace with it. He said, “Oh I have definitely  made peace with my past, and I accept it one hundred percent.” but he still had this hate clouding his judgement.

He blamed his friends for betraying him, and leaving him by himself. He blamed his mother for his terrible childhood, and the death of his father for making his life rough. He couldn’t accept the fact that his friends chose another Best-man over him, and he still thought that he had accepted everything.

No, that isn’t acceptance, at all.

Acceptance of what has happened lies deeper than just acknowledging what has been. You must see the results, and allow your soul to accept everything. There is no hate, but rather love for the ones that have done these things to you. You understand that not everything is fair, and that you won’t allow your past to make you who you are. It’s not a time to wallow or grieve, but rather a time to soak in the knowledge that you have the ability to change the future. Right now, in this moment, is the only moment that matters. Not ten minutes from now, nor two days, or months, or years. Acceptance lies in knowing that the past can only harm you if you let it. You can’t let the past make you who you are. Become one with your soul, and feel peace with that. You are a being of pure love, and wasting your time hating others, or hiding your pain behind the hate, is only masking the problem.

Those people misjudged you, or intentionally hurt you aren’t the problem,

You are the problem. For hate comes from within you, and not from without. And that is what you must change. Accept what is, and feel love for the ones that have harmed you at one point. For they cannot harm you anymore as long as you use the power of love.

Love you all, and hope that through my own experiences, I can help you as well.

A. Willow

It’s a Smiley Kind of Day

I decided I’m going to have a happy life. I’m going to laugh with strangers, trust the ones I love, and feel bliss every moment I can get it. There is nothing that will stop me, because I create my own future. Right now, I am ecstatic. I am so filled with life, with love, and this feeling that’s tingling all over making me jump with excitement. It doesn’t matter what people think of me and my smiling face, it doesn’t matter if I am on my own for the rest of my journey that awaits.

I’m going to make the most of each day, and today I am filled with nothing but love for everything that is happening to me. I accept everything in my life, and it fills me with happiness to know that I’m going to be striving for what I love.

Do what you love,

Be what you love,

And you shall receive love.

 

Love your friend,

A. Willow

P.S. Don’t forget to smile 🙂

Follow to the End

We are meant to live a life full of happiness, joy, and lots of smiles, but where do we get lost along the way? It seems, at least, for most Americans, our smiles have been taken by stress, and our joy taken by work. When is enough, enough?

You know, sometimes you have to take a look at your life and realize what is the most important thing. Yes, bills have to be paid, but does what you’re doing make you happy? Are you truly enjoying, with all your heart, what you have chosen for a career? I say let go of your mind for just a few minutes and dive into your heart. Let it out of it’s box that you constantly put it in and allow it to flow out and enter your entire being.

What is it that your heart wants to do, to change in your life? Is it your  job, your family lifestyle, or maybe your relationship? Just look deep into it, and know that we are meant to follow where our hearts go. It can be hard at times, especially if you don’t frequent on these inner growths….but it isn’t far away.

My lesson for you today, is to embrace the love you have hidden from others and yourself, and realize what is going to make you happy. Change can be scary, but regrets are forever. Don’t hold onto the past, let go of what can’t last, and know that if you follow your heart through…you will be rewarded with happiness at the end.

I love you all,

A. Willow

 

Love’s Everlasting Pour

So many days I’ve spent, thinking of this one person. So many feelings have been hurt for loving this man. I sometimes think to myself that it is better off this way. He chose to walk away….but then why is my heart pouring?

I’ve poured so much of my love into my soul, feeling  lost when I’m alone, and with him I am whole. And yet, lately, he has been fake, hiding away his guilt and shame. I’m not sure yet of his true name.

Is he the man I’ve poured my heart into, or the man that he fakes to be? Maybe he’s hiding the same feelings, and doesn’t know how to show it. Maybe, I’m the one to be strong and show him what I’ve hidden all along….

I don’t know what to do.

I’ve asked God for his help, and slowly but surely my heart keeps pouring out. Its as if He is to say “Love, and show him what you are made of.” And I must if God is making me feel this way.

But isn’t that what we are supposed to do in this life? Take chances, and follow our hearts. Would I regret never admitting that I am in love with him, even though he is with another?

She makes him unhappy, I can see it in his eyes. She is suppressing his soul, and it fills me with such great woe!

I don’t know what to do….

Be honest?

But that could end everything. Fear wracks my body knowing what it could ruin. Like Rome, it would fall down horribly. And then he wouldn’t be my friend, and he wouldn’t be in my life at all….

I. Must. Stand. Tall.

I need to be confident in my heart. For God sent us on this earth to do nothing more than to learn from our mistakes, love every human being and creature, and to spread our love throughout the world. So yes…I think it’s time, that I finally admit to him, what I have been hiding, for once and for all.

Never give up on love. For love is Strength. And I am Both.

A. Willow