The Perfect Man is only Superman

Something is drawing me to him and I don’t like it. I feel a sense of who he is….but that could just be the remnants of my perfect guy. I look at his picture, and feel funny, like something was meant to happen, but didn’t. Then, as if by law, he contacted me and that was the end of it all. I try to ignore fate at my hands, and try to ignore those strong feelings.

But a person’s a person, and if it’s meant to be, you’ll find him along the edge of eternity.

I don’t know how to describe it, maybe he’s feeling it too. This perfect image in my head, can’t be right. It’s a made up superman, someone that doesn’t exist. I’ve known that I’ve been picky, I’ve known that life isn’t perfect, but why God, why would you make me feel something for somebody I want to resist.

He scares me, not because he’s creepy. But because I feel like he can pull at my feelings, and end up hitting a wrong button.

He said he felt off too, and now I’m scared, he said he had a gut feeling, but i’m just trying to be prepared.

I want to ignore him, because he must treat me with respect.

It would take a miracle, but happen if it must.

 

Should the beginnings of love scare us? A chance that two souls can meet and be together for an eternity. Love is scary, love is blind, and I won’t let my heart out at the wrong time.

I’m in control, I can handle this one man. I won’t let him in unless I know he’s my superman.

And trust me my dear friends, that I can!

Love you all,

A. Willow

Life is a Journey

Today I learned that not everything is as it seems. If you just take a moment to stop and think about the way you SEE things, then you’ll realize you don’t see at all. We walk blindly ignoring the obvious things in life, and make it more difficult for ourselves.

Why, do you ask that we do this?

It’s our natural human habit to stress and worry about the things that we don’t need to. We delve into a situation believing that is the only way, but when you sit back and look at all the options, the different ways that you can act, you begin to realize that there is more to this journey then gunning full forward.

For example, Today I believed that the one person I am meant to be with in this life will eventually swoop down and save me from my miserable boring life….but something happened.

For some reason God decided to show me that it doesn’t have to happen like that, and may never happen exactly like that. Through hidden and subtle messages I learned that I can experiment in the world to find who’s wrong and who’s right just for me. I hadn’t realized why I didn’t do this in the first place, but He showed me that I truly was scared of this type of change to my life.

I didn’t want to open up to strangers and express my life over and over again to people I may not be with for more than an hour….but then again. If I don’t spill everything to them I may miss my one chance at happiness. Out there, God has a plan for me. He wants us to explore and experiment, because we learn from our failures, and that makes us that much more of a lover.

Realizing this today made me realize I was going about my journey all wrong. I wanted to stay put in the comfortable hole I had built, hoping that superman would come and drag me out, but sometimes we must lift ourselves up and venture forward on our own to find what is right for us.

Imagine a different life, and gain the courage to go out of your comfort zone. You only get this life once, and the sooner you venture out on your journey the sooner you will find your happiness.

Always,

A. Willow

Superman

Feeling this rejection within me is like a cold sweep of faith suddenly chilling my bones. How am I supposed to believe that superman will come and save me, sweeping me off my feet if no one wants to be with me. And even if they do they aren’t a person I love. Love takes time and even then I don’t hold it for everyone.

SO yes I am weary when I meet new people. Not wanting them to think that I am interested, and yet wanting them to think that I am. So I become shy and alone, secluding myself from who I truly am. My brain locks down and I put a barrier up that no man has a possibility of escaping.

And yet I allow one man in. And all he does is tear my heart without even knowing he is doing so. I put my full faith into him, seeing that he is reasonable and at least as my friend he can be there for me….but he can’t. I am alone, and I have to realize that I must live my life to the fullest.

I must make every day count, and I know that is going to be hard. Extremely so, but I have to try.

Love seems impossible, and the way I seek it out around every corner, in my mind I imagine it, but I know I am the farthest from it. And even if it hit me in the face, could I take it? I can’t trust people I don’t know and that insecurity leaves me to a locked door that I cannot open. For how am I supposed to meet the right guy if I’m always scared to open up. Always scared that he might be the right one so I need to shut up.

Life is a difficult thing, and superman lies in my dreams, but I know he doesn’t exist.